Listen to Erathoniel ranting on and on in good ol' conservative Christian fashion.
erathoniel's Articles In Humor
April 11, 2008 by erathoniel
    My cat is about 3/4 years old. She is fairly small, as far as cats go, healthy and athletic, and weird recently. I've been coming home and I've seen her pretty much anywhere, looking around at a speed that grants her a 180 degree sight-angle, and generally being weird. Weirdest, she doesn't complain much when I pet her during this, but she's usually pretty darn antisocial. Any clues on what might be causing this? I don't know how long it's been going on, I noticed it yesterday...
April 11, 2008 by erathoniel
    My cat is about 3/4 years old. She is fairly small, as far as cats go, healthy and athletic, and weird recently. I've been coming home and I've seen her pretty much anywhere, looking around at a speed that grants her a 180 degree sight-angle, and generally being weird. Weirdest, she doesn't complain much when I pet her during this, but she's usually pretty darn antisocial. Any clues on what might be causing this? I don't know how long it's been going on, I noticed it yesterday...
April 17, 2008 by erathoniel
    Now, I'm probably the guiltiest party here, but don't you hate it when you or someone else updates like nine times really really quickly and it pushes everything else out. Like on my wiki and the GH Wiki, I always need to edit everything seven times. I do it here too, but there's no scrolling change list here.     Anyways, doesn't it annoy you when people do that? Mind you, I have eleven articles today, IICC (If I Count Correctly), so I qualify majorly. Howev...
April 17, 2008 by erathoniel
    Now, I'm probably the guiltiest party here, but don't you hate it when you or someone else updates like nine times really really quickly and it pushes everything else out. Like on my wiki and the GH Wiki, I always need to edit everything seven times. I do it here too, but there's no scrolling change list here.     Anyways, doesn't it annoy you when people do that? Mind you, I have eleven articles today, IICC (If I Count Correctly), so I qualify majorly. Howev...
May 3, 2008 by erathoniel
    Why does everyone hate microwave meals? It's not like you have to eat them, and why do you have a microwave if you don't use the cheap little packages of pre-perpared cardboard? Sure they're low quality and smell funny (or that may just be the ones I get), but they aren't mandatory, and it's not like you don't buy an appliance pretty much for the purpose of making them.
May 3, 2008 by erathoniel
    Why does everyone hate microwave meals? It's not like you have to eat them, and why do you have a microwave if you don't use the cheap little packages of pre-perpared cardboard? Sure they're low quality and smell funny (or that may just be the ones I get), but they aren't mandatory, and it's not like you don't buy an appliance pretty much for the purpose of making them.
May 2, 2008 by erathoniel
    This is a quiz to figure out which of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse you are. Favorite Weapon: A. Sword                       B. Pen            C. Bubonic Plague     D. Thermonuclear Warhead Favorite Drink:     A. Beer        ...
May 2, 2008 by erathoniel
    This is a quiz to figure out which of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse you are. Favorite Weapon: A. Sword                       B. Pen            C. Bubonic Plague     D. Thermonuclear Warhead Favorite Drink:     A. Beer        ...
April 29, 2008 by erathoniel
    I know how to fix our planet's carrying capacity. Launch most of the top 2% of people into space (a demographic I may fall into, mind you). Enjoy what they leave behind as you prepare for a nuclear bombardment of all continents but Antarctica (I claim first dibs to fallout shelters there). Next, wait a hundred years. Return to your normal places on Earth (or tell your posterity to). Kill any survivors you find. No more carrying capacity troubles. And, on a bright side, it only...
April 29, 2008 by erathoniel
    I know how to fix our planet's carrying capacity. Launch most of the top 2% of people into space (a demographic I may fall into, mind you). Enjoy what they leave behind as you prepare for a nuclear bombardment of all continents but Antarctica (I claim first dibs to fallout shelters there). Next, wait a hundred years. Return to your normal places on Earth (or tell your posterity to). Kill any survivors you find. No more carrying capacity troubles. And, on a bright side, it only...
April 22, 2008 by erathoniel
I would be America's best president ever! I've ruled entire galaxies before, and my empires last more than a thousand years of rapid technological advancement and development! I can even deal with those pesky insurgents. We have nukes, nuke 'em all! NOW! Problem solved, no* lives lost. I would be acceptable by anyone. Or at least they'd say they would accept me. See above.** I promote public happiness! Are you happy? No? I'll make you happy. There's your kitten. You're a dog...
April 22, 2008 by erathoniel
I would be America's best president ever! I've ruled entire galaxies before, and my empires last more than a thousand years of rapid technological advancement and development! I can even deal with those pesky insurgents. We have nukes, nuke 'em all! NOW! Problem solved, no* lives lost. I would be acceptable by anyone. Or at least they'd say they would accept me. See above.** I promote public happiness! Are you happy? No? I'll make you happy. There's your kitten. You're a dog...
July 12, 2008 by erathoniel
Act now! Magnetically, kinetically, or chemically operated projectile weapons are a major threat to our society's core! Left unchecked, they may result in millions of deaths before the end of the century. If we don't control these weapons, we may wind up with people dead, dying, or capable of undertaking woodwork projects! It's horrible! These things can kill people! Even the people using or building them!
July 12, 2008 by erathoniel
Act now! Magnetically, kinetically, or chemically operated projectile weapons are a major threat to our society's core! Left unchecked, they may result in millions of deaths before the end of the century. If we don't control these weapons, we may wind up with people dead, dying, or capable of undertaking woodwork projects! It's horrible! These things can kill people! Even the people using or building them!